Mythology of Toronto independent escorts

[Emma]

One of the common myths about the sex industry is that johns have to pay for sex to get some. Interestingly enough, this idea is being circulated not only among the non-initiated, but also among the johns themselves.

For instance, there's always a john to refer to the other johns as those "fat hairy smelly old guys" that we, the hookers, must obviously have disdain and contempt for.

Or there are those — like one of the independent boys on TOsluts who accuses me of having contempt for johns and men in general — who seem to get a feeling of superiority from the fact that they can get shagged for free (lets leave aside for the moment the conveniently limited definition of 'sex' that they adopt). I'm not sure why they think that it is such an accomplishment to get laid without opening their wallet, considering that our species would have died a long time ago if the majority of people couldn't get in each other's pants fairly easily. And given that the immense majority of women very rarely pay for sex (with the two noticeable exceptions of BDSM-related services and the growing trend of third world vacations 'romances' which a small number of women engage in with local men), I'm not seeing the superiority either in not paying for sex. Unless of course this guy and others like him also hold female supremacist ideas, which I seriously doubt.

If I wanted to get into pop-psycho babble, I would say that he and others who hold those ideas about johns — those 'losers' who have to pay for sex — are showing their own insecurity and sense of inadequacy. But that would be boring and predictable, so lets talk about the losers instead.

Because while my anecdotal experience in the world of hooking and escorts suggests that most johns could — and most likely do — get laid without paying for it, there is indeed a significant minority of johns who probably have a harder time than most getting the sex they want for free.

And contrary to what my dear reader mentioned above seems to believe, I actually dig the ‘losers’ (hence my use of the term affectionately). Those johns usually fall into one or more of the following categories:

1) the physically-attractive challenged;
2) the socially challenged;
3) the disabled or health challenged;
4) the sexually queers and deviants.

Apart from my general attraction and interest to anything or anyone outside the norm, one of the main reasons why I would choose the ‘losers’ 9 times out of 10 over the self-centered, presumptuous, arrogant johns who feels superior to me because they are paying for a few hours of my time or over the ones who want to “get their money’s worth” by cramming as much licking, sucking, and pounding as possible in a one hour session, is that the 'losers' usually relate to me as another equal human being. I am making an assumption here, but I think it may be that they themselves have a harder time being treated by others (especially those they'd like to shag) as equal human beings.

I also like a challenge, and especially in the case of johns 2, 3, and 4 (from the categories above), I usually have to work a bit harder at creating the atmosphere and experience they are looking for. Most often, shyness, embarrassment, and self-consciousness come in the way of them expressing their desires and expectations. Which is sweet, but also results in a waste of sexy time.

So here is my advice for those of you who fall into one of those categories: the chances are that your friendly Toronto independent escort has seen, heard, and experienced it before, whatever ‘it’ is. If she’s a professional deserving of that title, she won’t make you feel bad about ‘it’. And if you are dealing with an escort who caters to kinks, I assure you that there’s not much you could ask for that will shock her, short of expressing an interest for a bondage scene with a rotting turkey carcass, her, and a strap-on.

As for those of you who take pride in the fact that you don’t have to pay for sex, please remember that not only don’t we either, but we also can get paid for it.

[kitty]

I find it funny that people think that paying money for sexual services is somehow demeaning, I mean... is the john humbled by his grocery bill too? Do people make fun of a john for buying new clothes? Probably not. Why is sex any different? It's a commodity like anything else that is exchanged on the market. Perhaps the i-get-sex-free guy would rather go through the painstaking trouble of learning shitty pick up lines and wearing the right aftershave and pretending not to want to fuck a girl for a while before he makes his move? Because it is somehow more honorable to manipulate a girl into bed with jewelry and dinner rather than just let her spend the cash on whatever she actually needs to buy and cut the bullshit? I know lots of 'regular guys' who pretend to romance girls just to get some pussy and lose interest when they get it. I don't know what's up with that. It's weird, and I also think it's funny that women who accept this kind of attention from guys (drinks, movies and gifts in exchange for no-strings sex) are just fooling themselves when they think prostitution is bad/wrong/gross etc. There's no difference to me. Bartering - cash, same difference... except, the pro gets more value out of the exchange, so is really better off and doesn't end up feeling "used" and regretting it. Used isn't so bad when you get what you want, I figure.

[fitta]

honestly. i never though id find so many constructive things here.. and it turned out to be the kind of thing i needed in a very long time.. since i started reading some of the texts here, specially from emma (and other ppl too) im thinking differently about some things.. and im understand how good life can be when you're open minded.. thanks for sharing your experiences/views.. i enjoy reading it..

[Red]

The difference is, that there are no stores which you can walk into and get your groceries for free. You can't just walk into Holt's and walk out with a free suit. You can, however, walk into Holt's and walk out with someone who is willing to give you "free" sex.

You can't really compare the two.