Hookers Rules of Engagement

[Emma]

Most of you are respectful, great guys, and a pleasure to spend some naughty time with. But there are a few of you that could use a lesson or two in good manners when having a lady come over. So, for those of you who make me close my eyes and think of England, the following would help a long way in ensuring that you'll get good return on your investment:

1. For fuck sake (bad pun intended), get friendly with the soap before I get there. I don't care how many times you've showered already today, if it's been more than one hour since you've scrubbed your balls, you need to get under the water. Particular attention should be paid to the following body parts: cock and balls, ass, arm pits, mouth.

2. If you'd like me to kiss you or let you go down on me, you better be closely shaved. Relatedly, the amount of time and the quality of the attention paid to Jr. will be inversely proportional to the amount of hair covering the region.

3. A clean place, clean and fresh bed sheets, and a clean bathroom with clean and fresh towels also increase exponentially the quality of the service you'll get from me.

4. Asking me to reveal my real name tells me two things: first, that you have no respect for my private life, and second, that you're a fucking moron who doesn't understand the simple concept of a scene name. Neither puts me in a mood to fuck your brains out.

5. Despite what your buddies and/or porn may have told you, 'no' really means 'no'. Repeatedly asking for something I've already made clear was not on the menu and/or not respecting stated boundaries automatically puts you on the douchebags/no-repeat list. It also drastically increases the odds of me transforming from a sultry GFE into a castrating bitch.

6. You'd think that guys would be cautious about what they do and say when their dick is between someone's teeth, but for the record, make sure I'm OK with it before grabbing my head and pushing it on your cock. Just sayin'.

7. We both know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the cash. But if you'd like to keep the illusion going and keep me in a good mood for sex, bitching about the money and/or trying to cheap me out on my rates is NOT a good idea. A tip however goes a long way in putting you on the good list.

8. Leave the guilt at home with your wife. I'm hot, smart, resourceful, over-educated, well-adjusted, healthy, mentally and emotionally stable: I don't need you nor want you to 'save' me.

9. Yes, of course, I got into this business for the cash. Like you and most people I know, my decision to work was heavily influenced by the fact that it provides me with an income. The difference between you and me is that I get laid out of it.

10. What is the fascination with how many clients I do, what the other guys are like, how many creeps I've seen, etc.? You have a hot naked chick laying beside you, and what you want to do is talk about the other dudes???

11. The only acceptable comments about my body are positive, appreciative ones. Telling me that you prefer bigger boobs invites comment on your beer belly, hairy back, and/or small dick. Try remembering who's paying to get laid.

12. Asking me if I'm 'clean' is not only offensive, but also a stupid question. Do you really think that if I was unethical enough to work while having some STDs, that I would tell you? On a related note, I don't care how 'clean' you claim to be, I'm a professional and I care more about my health than your orgasms: that thing is going nowhere near me without a condom on it.

13. Stop using the euphemism "I like to give women pleasure" when what you mean to say is "I like to eat pussy". First, nine guys out of ten who use this asinine phrase should be forced to attend a seminar on how to eat pussy, making this phrase even more annoying than it is on its own. Second, if I was here for my pleasure and my orgasms, you wouldn't have given me an envelop of cash.

14. Finally, quit asking me if I 'really' came. If I had to fake it, it would defy the purpose to then tell you, don't you think?

15. What makes you think that I would be interested in dating you 'off-the-clock'? What goes on in your head to think that it make sense to ask a working girl for a freebie? Or do you actually think that you're THAT charming? Don't make me ruin the fantasy for you. Besides, I already have a partner, thankyouverymuch.

[treehh]

LOL very interesting info. Thanks for the heads up. I agree with all of them except "If U Cum" cuz to most of the guys making girls cum turns us on so much. That & moaning. So just be nice and fake it. Most of us won't know the diff anyway and everyone goes home happy

[mojoman29]

Emma can I get an hour with you? I don't even need to see the pics!!!

[trevor]

I'm good with it too. Just two things though, gotta put in my two cents
1: asking about how many clients you do? I somtimes ask that, cause it turns me on the more you f**k, the more I like it, I wann do a bad girl, a slut, I can do mary popins at home..
2: I don't care much for moaning and that, I am here to get off on you, if the sp wants to read a book, good for her. I generally look for an sp that in the real world wouldn't give me a second glance, that is the true purpose of an sp to me, and thank God she is there for me.

[COCKD]

Originally Posted by Emma

Most of you are respectful, great guys, and a pleasure to spend some naughty time with. But there are a few of you that could use a lesson or two in good manners when having a lady come over. So, for those of you who make me close my eyes and think of England, the following would help a long way in ensuring that you'll get good return on your investment:

1. For fuck sake (bad pun intended), get friendly with the soap before I get there. I don't care how many times you've showered already today, if it's been more than one hour since you've scrubbed your balls, you need to get under the water. Particular attention should be paid to the following body parts: cock and balls, ass, arm pits, mouth.

2. If you'd like me to kiss you or let you go down on me, you better be closely shaved. Relatedly, the amount of time and the quality of the attention paid to Jr. will be inversely proportional to the amount of hair covering the region.

3. A clean place, clean and fresh bed sheets, and a clean bathroom with clean and fresh towels also increase exponentially the quality of the service you'll get from me.

4. Asking me to reveal my real name tells me two things: first, that you have no respect for my private life, and second, that you're a fucking moron who doesn't understand the simple concept of a scene name. Neither puts me in a mood to fuck your brains out.

5. Despite what your buddies and/or porn may have told you, 'no' really means 'no'. Repeatedly asking for something I've already made clear was not on the menu and/or not respecting stated boundaries automatically puts you on the douchebags/no-repeat list. It also drastically increases the odds of me transforming from a sultry GFE into a castrating bitch.

6. You'd think that guys would be cautious about what they do and say when their dick is between someone's teeth, but for the record, make sure I'm OK with it before grabbing my head and pushing it on your cock. Just sayin'.

7. We both know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the cash. But if you'd like to keep the illusion going and keep me in a good mood for sex, bitching about the money and/or trying to cheap me out on my rates is NOT a good idea. A tip however goes a long way in putting you on the good list.

8. Leave the guilt at home with your wife. I'm hot, smart, resourceful, over-educated, well-adjusted, healthy, mentally and emotionally stable: I don't need you nor want you to 'save' me.

9. Yes, of course, I got into this business for the cash. Like you and most people I know, my decision to work was heavily influenced by the fact that it provides me with an income. The difference between you and me is that I get laid out of it.

10. What is the fascination with how many clients I do, what the other guys are like, how many creeps I've seen, etc.? You have a hot naked chick laying beside you, and what you want to do is talk about the other dudes???

11. The only acceptable comments about my body are positive, appreciative ones. Telling me that you prefer bigger boobs invites comment on your beer belly, hairy back, and/or small dick. Try remembering who's paying to get laid.

12. Asking me if I'm 'clean' is not only offensive, but also a stupid question. Do you really think that if I was unethical enough to work while having some STDs, that I would tell you? On a related note, I don't care how 'clean' you claim to be, I'm a professional and I care more about my health than your orgasms: that thing is going nowhere near me without a condom on it.

13. Stop using the euphemism "I like to give women pleasure" when what you mean to say is "I like to eat pussy". First, nine guys out of ten who use this asinine phrase should be forced to attend a seminar on how to eat pussy, making this phrase even more annoying than it is on its own. Second, if I was here for my pleasure and my orgasms, you wouldn't have given me an envelop of cash.

14. Finally, quit asking me if I 'really' came. If I had to fake it, it would defy the purpose to then tell you, don't you think?

15. What makes you think that I would be interested in dating you 'off-the-clock'? What goes on in your head to think that it make sense to ask a working girl for a freebie? Or do you actually think that you're THAT charming? Don't make me ruin the fantasy for you. Besides, I already have a partner, thankyouverymuch.

oooorr... you could just shut the fuck up and do what we pay you to do. Payer = BOSS, payee = good lil employee who does what the fuck they're told. lol!!!

[trevor]

Then theres that too, when I drop my car off at the dearler ship, same rules apply.point made

[COCKD]

The Point On My Cock?? Lmao! Cockd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TimeJumper1980]

Emma provides a lot of valuable advice which I've taken note of. I'm not a great fan of the condenscending attitude though. I understand that a person in her business is exposed to this crap every day. But, if you're a professional the attitude needs to stay at home (IMHO).

[Bandit]

BRRRRR...just seeing the word Engagement gave me cold chills...and cost me more money than any SP!!!
As for the posting, I enjoyed it. Seeing something from the other side always makes you more enlightened. Proper respect to me means probably better service and the SP wanting to make you happy means a new a regular. If your going to be seeing SP's anyway, why not one that you have formed a connection with and possibly even enjoys your time together.
Failing all that...How about just common courtesy.

[booger]

this girl knows what the deal is lol thats jokes tell em how it is girly

[Mr_Zero]

Hey thanks for the heads up ms, it was really... Informative. I'll try take it into account when with an escort.